When your parent can no longer read the post

Ask every institution for large print or audio — most have it

Banks, utilities, insurers, pension providers and government offices in the US are generally required to provide accessible formats, and most have a process. Almost nobody uses it, because almost nobody asks.

Work through the list one call at a time. Ask what accessible formats they offer, what they need in order to switch, and how long it takes. Write down the date, the name of the person, and any reference number. Then check the next statement actually arrives in the new format, and note whether it did.

Do the same for the pharmacy — ask what they can do about labelling — and for the doctor's office, asking that a note be added to the file so appointment letters and instructions come in a readable form.

Keep the whole thing on one page: institution, account number, format requested, date requested, date confirmed, date verified.

• Bank and credit card statements
• Electric, gas, water, phone and internet bills
• Insurance policies and plan documents
• Pension and benefits correspondence
• The pharmacy — ask what labelling options exist
• The doctor's office and the eye clinic — ask for a note on the file
• Council, tax and government correspondence
• One tracking page: requested, confirmed, verified, with dates

Decide who opens the mail, and write it down

This is the moment families slip into an arrangement nobody agreed to. Make it explicit instead, with your parent, in one conversation, and record what was decided.

Write down who opens the post, what happens to it, how your parent is told what arrived, and what your parent still wants to handle personally. Keep that last column generous — being read to is very different from being managed.

Set up a simple physical system: one tray for post that has been read aloud and dealt with, one for post that needs action, one folder for anything that needs filing in the binder. Date-stamp nothing; just keep the piles honest.

If money is involved, do not improvise. Ask the bank what their process is for a nominated helper, and ask an elder law attorney about anything that involves authority over decisions or accounts. Write down what each of them tells you, with dates. Those are their questions, not yours.

• Who opens the post, and on which days
• How your parent is told what arrived — read aloud, summarised, or both
• What your parent continues to handle personally
• Three trays: read, action, file
• Bills: who pays, from which account, and by which method
• The bank's own process for a nominated helper — asked and recorded
• Anything involving authority: written down as a question for an attorney

The eye clinic calendar and the transport that goes with it

Appointments at an eye clinic often run on a fixed cycle, are not easily moved, and cannot be driven to by your parent. Treat the calendar and the driving as one problem.

Put every appointment on one page with a named driver beside it, booked months ahead. Ask the clinic how much time to allow door to door, whether vision will be affected afterwards in a way that changes who needs to be there, and where the drop-off point is. Those are practical questions the desk staff answer well.

Ask about transport services through your county's Area Agency on Aging or the clinic's social worker, and write down what exists, what it costs and how far ahead it must be booked. Booking rules are the part that catches people out.

After each visit, ask for the after-visit summary and file it in date order — and ask whether it can be provided in a format your parent can read.

• Every appointment on one page, with a named driver
• Time to allow, door to door, including waiting
• Drop-off point, entrance, and whether help is available at the door
• Whether someone must be present afterwards, and for how long
• Local transport services: what exists, cost, and booking notice
• The clinic's cancellation number and required notice
• After-visit summaries filed in date order, in a readable format

Registrations and referrals to ask about

There is a set of services that exist specifically for people with sight loss, all of which are administrative and most of which require a form signed by a professional. Ask about them; do not wait to be offered them.

Ask the ophthalmologist for a referral to low vision rehabilitation services, and write down what was said and when. Ask about state services for the blind and visually impaired, and about the National Library Service talking books program, which requires a certifying signature and then posts equipment and recordings free of charge.

Ask your county's Area Agency on Aging what exists locally. Ask the utility companies whether they have accessible billing and priority programs. Each of these is a form, a date, and a reference number — treat them exactly like any other paperwork.

Keep one page: service, who signs, date applied, reference, date confirmed, renewal date.

• Referral to low vision rehabilitation — ask the ophthalmologist
• State services for the blind and visually impaired
• National Library Service talking books — requires a certifying signature
• Area Agency on Aging: local services and transport
• Accessible formats from utilities and banks
• Any equipment loan scheme, and its terms
• One tracking page with applied, reference, confirmed and renewal dates

Index the documents while your parent can tell you where they are

When reading becomes difficult, your parent stops being able to check the filing cabinet, and the knowledge of where things are can fade out of the household quietly. Capture it now, together, as an inventory rather than a takeover.

One row per document: what it is, where the original is kept, who holds a copy, and the date you last confirmed it. Record where passwords and access details are kept, never the details themselves. Note the professional attached to each item with a phone number — the attorney, the accountant, the bank, the insurance agent.

Do it as a sit-down with a notepad, in your parent's own order, in one or two sessions. Ask, write, read it back aloud so it can be corrected.

Then scan the originals, keep the scans somewhere your siblings can reach, and put a review date in the calendar twelve months out.

• Document index: what, where, who has a copy, date checked
• Professional contacts with phone numbers
• Accounts, policies and subscriptions with account numbers
• Where access details are kept — the location only
• Property, vehicle and insurance records
• Read back aloud and corrected by your parent
• Scans in a shared folder, and a review date in twelve months

Questions