What to Ask Before Your Parent Leaves the Hospital

Ask About the Discharge on Day One, Not Discharge Day

On the first morning of the stay, ask one question: what has to be true before my parent can go home? You will get a short list — a test, a visit from someone, an equipment delivery, a follow-up booked. Write it down and keep it visible.

From then on you are working backwards against that list rather than waiting to be told. It also makes you easy to help. A ward that knows you are tracking three items will tell you when item two is done.

Keep a single running page in the folder: the date, the item, who owns it, and whether it is finished. Update it once a day, at the same time, ideally after the morning round. Two minutes.

The practical benefit is timing. Discharges are often decided in the morning and executed in the afternoon, which is exactly when pharmacies queue and delivery slots close. If you know which items are outstanding, you can ask about them at nine rather than discovering them at four.

• What has to be true before my parent can go home?
• Who decides the discharge date, and when is that decision usually made?
• What is outstanding today, and who owns each item?
• Is there a discharge planner or coordinator on this ward, and what is their name?
• What time of day do discharges normally happen here?

Questions About the Paperwork You Should Leave With

Paper is the whole game here. Verbal instructions on a ward evaporate within the hour, and the summary that arrives in the post two weeks later is no use in the first week, which is when everything happens.

Ask for the written summary before you leave the building, not afterwards. If it is not ready, ask what is available now and who emails the rest, on what day. Get a name.

Check one thing while you are still standing there: that the record number and admission date appear somewhere on the page. Every phone call you make in the next month will begin with someone asking for them.

• May I have the written discharge summary before we leave, rather than mailed later?
• Which copy goes to my parent's regular doctor, and who sends it?
• Is the medication list on the summary the complete list for home?
• Are there written instructions about activity or lifting, and can I have them printed?
• What paperwork does the insurance company need, and who submits it?
• Does anything need signing today for home care, equipment or transport?
• Where do the record number and admission date appear, so I can quote them on the phone?
• Who signs the summary, and how do I reach that person with a question about it?

Questions About Medicines and the Pharmacy

The medication list at discharge is very often different from the one at home, and the two lists sitting side by side in the same kitchen is how confusion starts. Your job is not to work out which is right. Your job is to get one authoritative, dated list and to ask what happens to the boxes already in the cupboard.

Ask everything about supply as well as substance: where the prescriptions were sent, whether they are ready today, and what happens if a branch is out of stock. Discharge often lands late in the day, and a pharmacy that closes at six is a real problem on a Friday.

Write the answers on one sheet with the date at the top, and take a photograph before you leave the car park.

• Which prescriptions were sent to a pharmacy, and to which branch?
• Are they ready today, or do we collect tomorrow?
• Which medicines already at home should be kept, and which should we ask the doctor about before using again?
• Is there anything on this list my parent has not taken before?
• Has a pharmacist compared this list with what my parent took before admission?
• Is the first dose time at home written down anywhere I can point to?
• Who do we call if the pharmacy does not have one of these in stock?
• If something is unaffordable, who at the hospital or the office helps with that?

Questions About Equipment, the House and the First Week

Equipment is a scheduling problem disguised as a medical one. A rail, a frame or a chair that arrives on Thursday is not much help to someone who comes home on Tuesday. Ask for the delivery date, the company name and a phone number, and write all three down.

Ask who shows you how to use it. Delivery drivers usually do not, and the person who does may be a separate visit you have to book.

The same applies to the house. Ask whether anyone will look at it, who arranges that, and what they would want changed before you arrive home. Then ask the most useful question of the week: what should I write down each day, and who wants to see it? That gives your daily notes a purpose and a reader.

• Is any equipment being ordered, who delivers it, and on what day?
• Who shows us how to use it, and is there a printed instruction sheet?
• Does anything in the house need to change before my parent comes home, and who can advise on that?
• Is a home visit arranged? By whom, and when?
• How much of the day should someone be in the house during the first week?
• What should I write down at home each day, and who wants to see it?
• What would count as a reason to call the office rather than wait for the follow-up?
• Is there a number for questions at night and at the weekend?

Questions About Follow-Up, Transport and Who to Call

Follow-up appointments split into two piles: the ones the hospital books and the ones you book. Nobody ever says which is which unless you ask, so ask explicitly, appointment by appointment, and write the owner next to each.

Transport is the item most often forgotten until the wheelchair is at the door. Ask early whether it is arranged or yours to organise, and whether anyone is meeting you at the other end.

Finish with the closing question. Is there anything you would expect me to have and I have not asked for? Ward staff know exactly what families come back for a week later. Most of them will tell you if you give them the opening.

• Which follow-up appointments are already booked, with whom, and on what date?
• Which do we book ourselves, and how soon should they be?
• How is my parent getting home, and is transport arranged or ours to organise?
• Will anyone from the hospital call to check in, and when?
• Which department do I call about the bill, and which about the records?
• Who is the named contact for this admission after we leave?
• How do I request the full records, and how long does that take?
• If something changes in the first 48 hours, who is the first call?
• Is there anything you would expect me to have and I have not asked for?

Put the Answers on One Page Before You Leave the Building

Do not drive home and reconstruct it. Sit in the corridor for ten minutes and fill in one sheet while it is fresh, because by the time you have got your parent inside and made a cup of tea, half of it is gone.

The sheet has five blocks, always in the same order: medicines and pharmacy; appointments with dates and owners; equipment with delivery dates; who visits the house and when; phone numbers for day, night and weekend. Anything that does not fit those five blocks goes on the back.

Then do three things. Photograph it and send it to the family group, so nobody has to phone you to ask. Stick a copy on the fridge, because that is where anyone coming into the house will look. File the original in the folder behind the hospital tab.

One week later, read the sheet again and tick what actually happened. The gaps are your call list.

• Medicines and which pharmacy branch
• Appointments: date, who with, who books it
• Equipment: what, delivery date, company and number
• Home visits: who, how often, first date
• Numbers for daytime, out of hours and weekends

Questions