Questions to ask when you interview a caregiver for your parent

Write the job before you interview anyone

You cannot assess a candidate against a role that only exists in your head. Spend thirty minutes producing one page, and give a copy to every person you speak to.

On it: the days and hours, including whether they are fixed or variable. The location and the parking situation. Whether driving is required, in whose car, and whether they will be driving your parent. Whether cooking is included and to what extent. Housework, laundry, shopping. Whether they will be assisting with dressing, bathing or moving around, described plainly. Pets. Smoking. Other people in the house. The pay rate, how it is paid, and when. Mileage. Notice period on both sides. What happens on public holidays.

Then add three lines that get forgotten: who they report to, how they are expected to communicate and how often, and what they should do if they cannot make a shift.

Send the page in advance. Candidates who read it and come with questions about it are showing you exactly the quality you are hiring for. It also halves the number of unsuitable interviews.

• Days, hours, fixed or variable
• Driving: whose car, and whose passenger
• Cooking, housework, laundry, shopping
• Personal assistance, described plainly
• Pets, smoking, others in the house
• Rate, method, timing, mileage, holidays, notice
• Who they report to, how, and how often
• What to do if they cannot make a shift

Agency or independent: the questions are different

Two completely different transactions, and the questions do not transfer.

With an agency, you are buying reliability and administration. Ask: who covers a no-show, and how fast. What background and reference checks are run, and how recently. Who supervises the caregiver and how often they visit. What happens if the match does not work. Whether you get the same person each time. What the minimum booking is. How the rate is structured, including nights, weekends and public holidays. Whether they carry liability insurance and bonding. Whether caregivers are employees of the agency. What their process is for reporting a concern back to the family, and how quickly.

With an independent caregiver, you are the employer, and that carries obligations. Ask about their own insurance, their availability for backup, and their references. Then ask a payroll service or an accountant what employing someone directly involves in your state, and ask an attorney to look at any written agreement. That is a short professional conversation and it is not the place to improvise.

Get the agency's answers in writing. A sales call and a service agreement are not the same document.

The twenty questions

Ask the same questions, in the same order, of every candidate, and write the answers on the printed sheet as they speak. Comparing four sets of written answers a week later is a different experience from comparing four impressions.

Group them. Experience: how long, what kinds of households, what they enjoy, what they find hard, why they left the last role. A typical shift: talk me through your last one, hour by hour. That single question is worth five others, because vague answers become obvious immediately. Practicalities: travel, reliability of their own transport, other commitments, how far in advance they need notice.

Communication: how do you prefer to be contacted, what do you write down during a shift, and what would you tell me at the end of a day. Boundaries: what is not part of your job, and what would you say if you were asked to do something outside the agreed tasks.

End every interview with the same two: what questions do you have for me, and is there anything about this role that would not work for you. Silence at that point is information.

Scenario questions that reveal judgment

Scenarios show you how somebody thinks. Keep them practical and administrative rather than clinical, because you are hiring for reliability and communication, and the clinical judgment belongs to professionals.

Useful ones. You arrive and nobody answers the door: what do you do, and in what order? You are going to be thirty minutes late: what happens? My brother tells you one thing and I have told you another: how do you handle that? You notice something in the house that concerns you: who do you tell, how, and how quickly? My mother says she does not want you here today: what do you do? A delivery arrives and needs signing for: what is your rule? You break something: what happens next?

What you are listening for is a person who has a process rather than a person who has an answer, and one who escalates rather than absorbs.

Also ask directly: what would you want from us to make this go well? Candidates who can answer that have usually worked somewhere it went badly, and they know exactly what was missing.

• Nobody answers the door
• Running thirty minutes late
• Two family members giving different instructions
• Something in the house concerns you: who do you tell, how fast?
• My parent says they do not want you today
• A delivery needs signing for
• Something gets broken

References and checks

Do this properly. It is the step most often skipped and the one that most often would have helped.

Ask for two references from care roles, with names, phone numbers and the dates of employment, and call them yourself. Do not accept a written letter as a substitute.

Four questions to a reference, in this order. What were the hours and the tasks? Were they reliable about turning up, and did anything ever come up? How did they communicate with the family? Would you hire them again? The pause before that last answer tells you as much as the answer.

Ask the candidate or the agency what checks have been run, when, and by whom, and ask to see the result. Many states maintain a registry or a license check for home care aides. Ask the agency which registry applies and how to verify a name on it, or ask your Area Agency on Aging, reachable through the Eldercare Locator at 1-800-677-1116.

Check identity and the right to work. It is a normal step, and a professional candidate expects it.

The trial shift and the paperwork

Do not go from an interview to a permanent arrangement. Offer a paid trial: two or three shifts, with you present for the first one and out of the house for the second.

After each trial shift, write four lines: what was done, what was communicated to you, what you had to explain twice, and how your parent seemed about it. Ask your parent directly and separately, and take the answer seriously even when it is inconvenient.

Then the paperwork. Whether it is an agency service agreement or a direct arrangement, get it in writing before the arrangement becomes permanent: hours, rate, tasks, notice on both sides, and what happens with public holidays and cover. Ask an attorney to review a direct agreement and ask an accountant or payroll service about the employment side. Both are short conversations and neither is optional.

Keep in the binder: the signed agreement, the job description, the reference notes, a copy of any checks, the emergency contact list you have given them, and the schedule. It is a personnel file, and one day somebody else will need it.

• A paid trial of two or three shifts
• You present for the first, absent for the second
• Four written lines after each shift
• Ask your parent separately, and listen
• Written agreement: hours, rate, tasks, notice, cover
• Attorney reviews the agreement; accountant covers employment
• A personnel file in the binder

The first week after you hire

A good hire fails in week one for administrative reasons far more often than for any other cause. Prepare four things before the first shift.

A printed schedule for the first month, on the fridge. A task list for a typical day, written in the order things happen, not as a bullet pile. A log book, left on the kitchen table, with a clear instruction about what to write in it: what was done, what time, and anything they want the family to know. Observation, not diagnosis.

Then the practical access items: keys, the door code, the alarm code and how to reset it, where the trash goes, where the cleaning things are, the Wi-Fi, the parking rules, and the printed contact list with the order to call in.

Book a fifteen-minute check-in at the end of week one and put it in the calendar at the point of hiring, not later. Two things get asked: what do you need that you have not got, and what should we change. Most small problems are cheap to fix in week one and expensive in month six.

Questions